Entrance

Hi,

I feel like the new kid at school now that I’m finally making my entrance onto this blog. And if you’re asking why I’ve put it off, I suppose there is no straight answer.

I always meant to post about my experience in Quebec, but while I was actually in La Belle Province I was simply too immersed in forging a new family relationship (after all, I was simply born into my first one), working, drinking in the Quebec scene, running a translation operation in my head and mentally calculating the time left I had with everyone I’ve met. I wanted to soak in the experience. After 6 weeks, plus 5 days on the trans-Canada rail staring out at scenery of skimpy shrubs dreaming of becoming glorious greenery, I was religiously in love with beautiful British Columbia. But I was also in withdrawal.

I felt lifeless without my busy constant schedule of new experiences. I was also missing the friends that I’ve shared another way of life with; some of us were separated by the expanse of this large country, and even though there were ones who lived just a few skytrain hops away, I was tallying up the days I’ve gone without seeing them. A new record was set on the third day, then the fourth, then the fifth. And everyday after that. I was also homesick, for a place that snuck into my being without my noticing until I was suddenly aching for the blue sheet of a sky that doesn’t exist in BC, summer thunderstorms (which there none here in BC), the image of the dining table set up with the vinaigrette, barbecue sauces, mayo and ketchup, and fruit juice. I miss feeling relieved about escaping the dead heat, hanging around Tim’s and McDonald’s during my lunch break with my partner, being welcomed home after work each day by Picaso (he’s a black lab) and especially hearing the soft throaty slur accented French and hearing myself attempting to speak it. Can you possibly have a love affair with a language, I wonder?

And so, I take it personally when my law teacher hates on the French language. With just as sudden of transition (perhaps even more) as the change of topic, I was caught by the throat and thrown into school. Only now that I’ve gotten my footing, can I begin to filter through what happened to me and where I am.

I’m a new. I’m lost. I’m here, somewhere.

I guess this means I’m back to blogging. A sort of self-discovery with story-telling. A few discoveries will happen. A few stories will be shared – going back to the beginning of summer till now and into the future, but in the order of my frame of mind, not so much chronologically. And I’ll fall, sometimes drifting sometimes hurtling through a satiny universe, back to Earth.

Until next time,

~Clare